I'm thankful for what I have, I try my best not to dwell on the downside. I'm aware there are other people in worse situations than my own.
All that aside, I have problems in my life that are overwhelming me. I have no idea where to turn, no idea how to fix the conundrums in my life. We are living in a hotel that is paid weekly, and working a job that pays only the rent plus $40 extra. So the money aspect is shit, but it's next to impossible to start a new job because they hold back a week in pay. So that would mean one week of living in our car, if not more. I could move to somewhere that is paid monthly and eliminate that problem, but I can't. Why not? Well I have no money put aside for deposits, lights and general moving costs. Those costs cannot be saved because of the fact that our weekly check only covers the hotel room and spares $40, which is then used for gas in the car. We also need that gas in the car to get back and forth to work sites. Not at all possible to walk to work; "work" is all over town. Giant circle of fucked. If I could only convince my boss to up our pay to $300 a week, I could eliminate a lot of our problems. We should of received a pay increase over a month ago already. But promises were not kept so we are trying to survive on barely enough.
Right now we are also sitting on a voucher that will help with rental assistance. it's great news and a great step forward but... we have to pay for deposits, lights being turned on and moving expenses. Back at square one is where we land with that.
It's frustrating, heartbreaking. My whole body is so full of stress, I am in physical pain and there also seems to be something blocking my throat most of the day. I want to scream, I want to cry but I can't. Or won't, whichever.
For once I want an easy answer to drop out of the sky. Some kind of break, a step up.
I am grateful we're not living on the streets with nothing but the clothes on our backs and no hot meals. I know people have it worse.
Please don't tell me not to complain, it's all I have left really.
